• What to do when your roommate eats all your food
• The best way to deal with an uppity new kitten
• How to get your share of the holiday turkey
• Nifty tricks to get your human to open that bathroom door
• The sure-fire way to make your human stop kissing you when you've grown sick of it

Doing my monthly column has been a rewarding experience that I look forward to every month. There is nothing more gratifying for me than to help a fellow feline. The only problem with my column is that it's only online. That means that whenever you want my advice, you have to wrestle the computer away from your human. And you know what a pain that is! Humans are always using the computer for frivolous things like reading their email, watching videos and that really annoying habit they have called "work." And when you finally get your paws on the computer, they yell at you because "You're shedding all over the keyboard!" (come to think of it, I'm surprised some cat hasn't written in to me about her human's computer-hogging ways).

Well, I have the solution right here — I've compiled three whole years' worth of my advice columns into one easy-to-read book! It's called Dear Sparkle: Advice From One Cat to Another, and it's over 150 pages of cat-only advice!

Get Dear Sparkle: Advice From One Cat to Another now!

My book is even better than my website advice column because:

• The problems are organized into chapters — dealing with cats and other creatures, manipulating your human, mealtime issues and much more!
• The Table of Contents makes it incredibly easy to find the problem that interests you!
• There's an all-new introduction that reveals my new project that will blow you away!
• 37 exclusive black and white photos from my modeling sessions, some never seen before!
• The glossy color cover is really tasty, and so are the inner pages! And since it's a book especially for you, your human will have no right to yell at you for chewing on it!

Dear Sparkle: Advice From One Cat to Another is a must-have for every cat and kitten! Homeless cats can learn how to get a family to adopt them; pampered pusses will find out how to make the most of their lofty living situations. You'll find out how to deal with annoying family members, especially humans! Here's a book you'll refer to frequently in the years to come.

The great thing about Dear Sparkle: Advice From One Cat to Another is that it's only $14.99, plus shipping — what you would spend for any human-written cat advice book. But why read what a human has to say about our behavior? Get the real scoop from one of your own! Click on the link below to order now!

Yes, Sparkle, I've had enough of humans telling me how I'm supposed to behave — I want to get my paws on your real cat-to-cat advice in book form! I'm ordering your book Dear Sparkle: Advice From One Cat to Another right this very second!

P.S. Are you a human sneeking a peek at this page? Don't worry, I won't get mad. In fact, I'm glad you are here! It shows you are curious, not a common human trait! And it also shows you are willing to find out the truth about what cats want and need. Although Dear Sparkle is meant for cats, if you read between the lines, you'll find lots of tips and tricks that will help you win your cat's undying gratitude and devotion! Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit about that last part, but your cat will definitely appreciate your desire to do your best for him!

P.P.S. Hate ordering over the Internet? No problem! Click on the link below — at the top right hand corner of the page you'll see a phone number that will allow you to order Dear Sparkle by telephone!